Why I Don’t Sissify
This issue comes up often within the Femdom World, so I’m going to address it fully here. (Twitter is just too brief!) Here’s the deal—now pay attention, because My stance on this is, apparently, surprisingly unique. I am a Femdom, an hypnotic femdom even, and I don’t do feminization or sissification.
Repeat: I am a Hypnodomme who does not work with sissies and does not do feminization sessions or mp3s. Ever.
Why? Because it’s just not a fetish I’m into. Back when I first began My professional hypnodomme practice (more than a dozen years ago, now), I made a very important decision: I promised Myself that I would never force Myself to do anything that I didn’t enjoy. (More on this in a future post.) I am the Mistress here and what I enjoy and desire is more important to Me than what trendy topic might sell well this month. (And, make no mistake, feminization is popular.)
In My opinion, “feminization” is a fetish, like being into feet, leather or latex, or having a thing for hypnosis. It is NOT synonymous with “Femdom” (Female Domination) or “submission”. I suspect this assumed correlation began in the Victorian era, when humiliation was a common element of Domination and it would have been considered highly taboo and humiliating to “force” a male to wear female undergarments or dress like a woman. Ever since then, “subs” and “sissies” seem to have frequently been linked together, as if they were the same—but they’re not. Here’s the thing: even humiliation is just an aspect of Femdom. It’s not a requirement; it’s not automatically practiced by every single Domina; and even those Dommes who do enjoy it don’t all do it the same way. Domination is (ideally) subjective and creative. If the sub begs to be “feminized”, then they’re not really being humiliated. If the Domme goes along with the sissifying but doesn’t actually enjoy the scene, then She’s not really being served. There are many different ways to humiliate a sub that do not include feminization, and there are many different ways to serve a Domina that do not include feminizing or even humiliation. (Side note: I fail to understand how it’s “humiliating” to turn a sub into the image of the presumably more powerful Woman he is supposed to be serving…? Elevating, perhaps, but not humiliating.) Therefore, I contend that “feminization” and “Domination” are not synonymous.
Not all Domination includes feminization and not all feminization is submissive. In fact, I would venture to say that almost no feminization is what I would consider submission. Every sissy I have ever encountered has been far more interested in “being forced” to dress up “like a slut”, put on makeup, lisp, waive a feather duster about, have copious amounts of “forced bi sex”, preen and pose for photos, and splash those photos all over the interwebz, than they have been in actually serving or pleasing their Domina. (Case in point: I routinely get sissies following Me on Twitter, and I know for a fact they’ve never ordered a single MP3 from Me or even bothered to read My website because, if they had, they’d know I don’t work with sissies.) The question rarely even gets asked—is this something that you would enjoy, Mistress? or what can I do to serve YOU?—instead, it’s just assumed: you’re a Femdom, you must do feminization (“Now let me tell You all about what I want…”). And how does the Mistress get served by this? Unless she’s genuinely enjoying the session (and getting paid very well), she’s not benefiting at all. Now I don’t have girlfriends who lisp or teeter about in ridiculous high heels, why on earth would I want “subs” like that who aren’t even going to do anything that actually serves and pleases ME? In My opinion, submission is about service and service means placing the emphasis on the desires of the Domme. Feminization is about placing the emphasis on playing with and catering to the sissy.
Now I am fully aware that My preference for male subs is going to disappoint those with the desire to be “sissified”. I accept that. If I’m craving My favorite dishes, I have to go to the particular restaurants that serve them. That’s life. I don’t get offended because I can’t get Italian at the Mexican cantina, and you shouldn’t get offended if every Domme isn’t into your particular fetish. Remember: we all have the right to explore whatever fetishes interest us and to avoid those that don’t. There are many pro-dommes in the world and most of them practice some form of feminization. While you are looking for your dream fetish experience, I encourage you to pause, take a deep breath, and really think about what the term “Femdom” means. Don’t assume that every Pro Domme is into every fetish. Don’t assume that just because something turns you on, it’s going to be just as enjoyable for every Dominant Woman that you find online. Actually take the time to read a Mistress’s website before you email or Tweet her your interests and desires. Expand your vernacular and use the correct terms. We will all have far better exchanges (and a lot more fun) if both the customers and their Dominas are genuinely enjoying the same theme.